Hey Reader!

So you probably get the concept of red flags...
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...but when it comes to actually navigating red flags while dating or in the early stages of a relationship, many people find themselves unsure of how to proceed or reluctant to address them directly.

Fair enough.
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It can be challenging to reconcile the initial excitement of a new connection with the potential warning signs that arise.

Additionally, fear of confrontation or the desire to give someone the benefit of the doubt can cloud your judgment.

All that said, it can be confusing, intimidating, or downright awkward to bring up a concern about someone, especially as you’re still getting to know them.

But the “getting to know them” part is precisely why addressing these red flags is essential, as the ultimate goal is to decide if this person is a good fit for you and not just pretty on paper (or on Insta).
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​Any behavior that elicits unease, discomfort, or concern for you is reasonable for you to address, no matter “how small” it may seem to someone else.

So now you might be thinking...

Well... How should I handle red flags?

My best advice is to bring it up directly with your partner or date in a kind yet assertive manner.

Depending on the situation, it may be best to ask an open-ended question to get more information about why this person acted in that way, e.g., “What was your reasoning behind that?”

Otherwise, if you understand the reasoning (i.e., the reasoning behind an offensive joke is to be funny), but you simply did not like the behavior, it might be best to clearly express your beliefs or boundaries around that behavior, e.g., “I don’t appreciate that because…”

Either way, it’s important and helpful (for both parties) to ensure that the other person gets an opportunity to respond.

It’ll allow them to either apologize, explain the situation (if you asked), or both, thus opening the chance of understanding and growth.

What if I get a negative response?

If the person deflects, mocks you, invalidates you or otherwise dismisses your concerns, you can take that response as an answer in itself – that this person is not willing to change their behavior and is likely not a good fit for your values and expectations.

All in all, these types of conversations might be complex and uncomfortable, but they’re crucial for ensuring that you and your partner or date are building a foundation for an aligned compatible relationship.

I just finished writing an article all about navigating red flags, and it includes 7 significant relationship warning signs you can look out for.

Hope it helps. And if you have any questions, my inbox is always open :)

All the love,

Imani

Same New Love LLC

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